The Different Faces of Me

Source: Here

Some of the quotes/lines that I wanted from the book:

Charlie:
"You're pregnant! You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Renee:
"You've never been a teenager, sweetie. You know what's best for you.


Alice:
"Go to your happy place, Bella."

Bella:
"Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

Alice: "I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors."
Edward: "Why don't you just tell me who wins?"
Alice: "I do. Excellent."

Bella: "Should I be afraid?"
Edward: "Terrified."

Bella: "My little nudger."

Edward: "Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself alot of arguments."

Edward: "Forever and forever and forever."

Emmett: "If you don't send Edward out we're coming in after him!"

Bella: "I'll meet you at the alter."

Bella: "Jasper? What do vampires do for batchelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?"

edward: I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan

edward:"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"

edward:"Alice is an unstoppable force of nature."

jacob:"I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time."

bella:"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."

edward:"I couldn't let you walk away from me," he explained in a low voice. "It hurt just to imagine it."

Alice : "She's going to be dazzling."
Edward : "She always has been."

Tanya: Ah, Edward, I've missed you.
Edward: Tanya, you look good.
Tanya: So do you.
Edward: Let me introduce you to my wife.

Edward: Goodbye, Jacob, my brother... my son.

"Forever and forever and forever" he murmured.
"That sounds about right"
And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.

THE END

Here's the list..

Bella: "So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane. What exactly were you going to do about it?"
Edward: "Why is the plane crashing?"
Bella: "The pilots are passed out drunk."
Edward: "Easy. I'd fly the plane."
Bella: "Both engines have exploded and we're falling in a death spiral toward the earth."
Edward: "I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history."
[p. 88]

"I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart-I've left it with you."
[p.95]

"You're surprisingly adorable when you're jealous."

"..I Want you to know something-when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythincal creatures. Jacob is family. You are...well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existene. I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too."
[p.143]

"Sleep my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."
[p.195]

He sighed."The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an Eclipse"
[p. 600]

"I love you, I want you. Right now."

"if there were any way for me to become human for you - no matter what the price was, i would pay it."
[p. 273]

"and the sound of your heart, it's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now, i swear i could pick it out from miles away. but neither of these things matter. this," he said, taking my face in his hands. "you. that's what I'm keeping. you'll always be my Bella, you'll just be a little more durable."
[p. 274]

"i was that boy, who would have - as soon as i discovered that you were what i was looking for - gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. i would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have the same connotations."
[p. 277]

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
[p.329]

"But if you ever bring her back damaged again--and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head--if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that mongrel?"

"And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her,"
"You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language--but it's your face."
[p.340]

"she is mine." edward's low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. "I didn't say i would fight fair."
"neither did i."
"best of luck."
jacob nodded. "yes, may the best man win."
"that sounds about right... pup."
[p. 341]

emmett grinned. "fall down again, bella?"
i glared at him fiercely. "no, emmett, i punched a werewolf in the face."
[p. 342]

"okay, look, edward," i whispered. "here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. i know what my limits are. and i can't stand it if you leave me again."
[p. 419]

"for this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?" he'd pleaded, unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. "it seems like i can never get enough time like that. i need to be with you. just you."
[p. 435]

"my heart is just as silent," he mused. "and it, too, is yours."
[p. 439]

"i coveted you." his smile darkened. "i had no right to want you - but i reached out and took you anyway. and now look what's become of you! trying to seduce a vampire."
[p. 454-455]

"isabella swan?" he looked up at me through his impossibly long lashes, his golden eyes soft, but, somehow, still scorching. "i promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. will you marry me?"
[p. 460]

Here goes the list..

"Marry me first.
Okay. What's the punch line?
You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you and you think it's a joke.
Edward, please be serious.
I am one hundred percent serious.
Oh c'mon! I'm only eighteen.
And I'm nearly one hundred and ten. It's time I settled down"

"Life is complicated."
"And girls are cruel."
(Bella and Mike)

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."

"Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk."

"Are you the vampire girl?"
"Yes. Are you the wolf girl?"

"how can i put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I hape always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."
[p. 510]

"Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me. I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time--and not much of it--before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."
[p. 514]

“Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?”

Here's go a list of my favorite Twilight Quotes..

“Am I annoying you?” he asked. He sounded amused.
I glanced at him without thinking…and told the truth again. “Not exactly, I’m more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read—my mother always calls me her open book.” I frowned.
“On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read.”
[p. 50]

“You think I regret saving your life?”
“I know you do,” I snapped.
“You don’t know anything.” He was defenitely mad.
[p. 75]

"It would be more... prudent for you not to be my friend." he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella."
[p. 84]

"Do I dazzle you?"
"Frequently."
[p. 168]

"Why didn't you want to leave?"
"It makes me... anxious... to be away from you."
[p. 188]

"Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." He looked down, ashamed again. "The thought of you, still, white, cold... to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses... it would be unendurable." He lifted his glorious, agonized eyes to mine. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."
[p. 273]

"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If i could dream at all, it would be about you, and I'm not ashamed of it."
[p. 294]

"For almost ninety years, I've walked among my kind, and yours... all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."
[p. 304]

"I love you," I whispered.
"You are my life now," he answered simply.
[p. 314]

"Will you be?" I asked, suddenly anxious. "Will you really be here?"
"As long as you want me." he assured me.
"I'll always want you." I warned him. "Forever."
[p. 318]

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb"
"What a stupid lamb"
"What a sick masochistic lion"
[chapter 13]

You know you’re obsessed with Twilight when…

· When someone says “This is made of Velvet” you touch it while thinking (or saying) “So this is what Edward’s voice feels like”.

· You listen for Twilight related words so much that if someone mentions something that is LIKE something in the book, your mind immediately goes to Twilight. An example of this would be if someone says “Spoons” and you think of “Forks” or if someone says “Edwin” you immediately think of Edward.

· Someone mentions a word like “pickles” and adds that it’s just about the only thing that doesn’t remind them of Twilight. You then associate pickles with Twilight.

· You are envious of Alice and Edward because they both knew what happened in Breaking Dawn before you did.

· When you WANT to hear voices in your head. After all, when Bella went insane, she heard Edward.
· You decide blaming everything on yourself is a good thing. After all, you like following Edward’s example.

· Cliff diving sounds like a creditable sport and completely safe… As long as Jacob Black is there to rescue you.

· You want to go cliff diving during a hurricane wind in a hope that Jacob (or another werewolf) will be there to save you. Going cliff diving in La Push gives you extra points.

· When someone mentions a time of day that is NOT the title of one of the books and you think of Twilight. (Emgeal mentioned this one)

· Blood is mentioned and you immediately think of Twilight. This can be anything from someone getting a blood transfusion to saying the communion prayer at church.

· You have canceled all activities on the 2nd of August to read Breaking Dawn and in December when the movie comes out.

· You visit the zoo and see the bears/wolves. Rather than think how cute or fierce they are, you imagine one of the Cullens making a meal out of the wild animal.

· When you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball.

· When someone mentions a tracker you think that a vampire would do a better job.

· If someone says “fire”, “Ice”, or both you feel the need to mention Edward and Jacob.

· When someone mentions Romeo and Juliet you only know what it is because of Twilight.

· While reading Romeo and Juliet you imagine the Twilight characters rather than the real ones. For instance, Romeo=Edward, Juliet=Bella, Paris=Jacob.

· You refuse to date someone named Mike because he’s too normal.

· After watching a major league baseball game you find it tame. After all, it’s not nearly so interesting as barely seeing the players.

· You’d never heard of Wuthering Heights before reading Eclipse, but after reading Eclipse you have decided it is one of your favorite books… Before you read it. (Same goes for Romeo and Juliet)

· When you teacher mentioned Switzerland in class, you couldn’t help telling them that Bella Swan was Switzerland.

· When you were told you were wrong, you insist that New Moon told you so.

· When told New Moon is a fiction book you argue with “But –insert your favorite character’s name here- must be real!”

· You understand that Switzerland is neutral only because Bella supposedly won’t pick between vampires and werewolves.

· You have heated debates about what country that makes Jacob and Edward.

· You call guys named Edward “Cullen Impersonators”.

· You tell your boyfriend that it’s the “in” thing to go over 100 MPH on the highway at all times and threaten to break up with him if he refuses.

· You find yourself having more discussions about Twilight then you do about your day, friends, family, and self put together.

· You take a trip to Italy in search for where the Volturri live.

· Better yet, you look as hard as you can in a hope you’ll see one of the characters- even if it means becoming vampire chow.

· You plan a vacation to go to every place mentioned in the books. This means Forks, Phoenix, Alaska, Volterra, Switzerland, etc.

· You go to La Push and try to make the locals as angry as you can in a hope they turn into werewolves.

· When they don’t, you decide they must have REALLY good self-control.

· You try to get arrested in Forks. After all, if the chief policeman really is Charlie, Bella and Edward aren’t far behind.

· Whenever you hear a song about romance you think of Bella and Edward. Double points if you hear a song about someone not being loved back and think of Jacob. Triple points if you can match every romance song in existence with Twilight in some way or form.

· On your eighteenth birthday you purposefully cut yourself hoping a vampire will try and attack you (and then of course that you’ll be saved by Edward).

· Every year you have a birthday past seventeen you throw a temper tantrum about how everyone else is immortal but you.

· You deny ever turning beyond eighteen. You can’t be too old for Edward and Jacob, how terrible!

· You spend more effort and time rooting for a character (especially a side character) then you do on activities like reading the books, doing your homework, and taking care of your pets.

· You become a doctor just in case you run into Carlisle in a few years.

· You only go to school on non-sunny days.

· You ask your parents to move to the rainiest, least sunny place of all because of this (double points if you now want to live in Forks).

· You insist on moving someplace sunny while still only going to school on cloudy days. When your parents try to make you go, you claim you are a vampire and too beautiful to disrupt the human world.

· You insist on lurking in the shadows when your parents make you go. You also wear heavy eyeliner to make the dark shadows under your eyes.

· You buy a full Cullen outfit. This includes colored contacts (amber and black for when you are “hungry”), lots of eye shadow, foundation three shades too light for your skin, and expensive clothing.

· You style your hair exactly like a character in the book. If someone can’t guess whom you’re mimicking, you burst into tears.

· You start to do dangerous things whenever the opportunity arises in a hope you’ll hear Edward’s voice, angry at you for being stupid.

Source: http://fullofsecrets.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Obsession-2-91827817

RESPECT:

* Treat your friend the way you would like to be treated.
* Friends DON'T push you around.
* If your friend wants to try a new sport, but you do not like that sport, do not take her out of it just because you do not like it. Try to see the alternative side(s).
* Always ask them what they want to do if they are your guest!
* Don't argue with their choice of boyfriend. Even if you hate the guy, respect your friend's feelings for him. Loophole = unless you know that they are a player; then you tell your friend.
* You need to be able to talk freely, be able to act like yourselves.
* Friends should respect everything about each other: fashions, possessions, decisions, religions, etc.
* Don't think that you're better than your friend.


TRUST AND HONESTY:
* A friend can't talk trash about you behind your back.
* Never start talkin' about something and then say... ohh never mind I can't tell you!
* Tell them when something is wrong with their physical appearance (such as a booger).
* Keep secrets, or its mutually assured destruction. (...unless your friend is doing something dangerous.)
* No breaking promises.
* Don't steal my stuff.
* If you know what you are going to tell them will hurt them but you have to tell them, choose your words VERY carefully.
* Before you do something that you think s/he won't like, like dating his 'X,' ask if it's ok.
* Don't lie to them, tell them what you think.


+ 1 rule is NEVER ditch a friend 4 a date!
+ Never ruin your friendship over a girl/guy.
+ Friends are forever and boyfriend's/girlfriend's aren't.
+ Never ever make your friend chose between their boyfriend or girlfriend and you.
+ Never date the boy/girl that your friend has a huge crush on unless they are over him.
+ If your friend is going out with sum1, do not try to break them up.
+ Never like your friend's boyfriend, and if you can't help it, then keep that thought to yourself
+ Don't change who you are for a guy/girl.

Source: http://aubreymcarey.multiply.com/journal/item/27/friendship_code

Last Sunday, we celebrated the Chinese All Souls Day. Early that morning we were starting to prepare the food and the chinese papers that were believed to be money in the next life. We prepared 10 different dishes and prayed for the souls of our ancestors.

Here are some of the pictures:


What a very tiring day! I don't know if all of these traditions are true but still we continue to do it. My relatives would be really really mad if we don't follow.

Today is friday and its PAY DAY! That's one of the reasons why I am looking forward to this day. Although I am not feeling well today I went to the office early. We had our breakfast get togther with the other employees of this company. During our lunch break, our office mate ,Maureen, invited us for a lunch out. We were suppose to eat at Contis but we were still to wait for a long time. Biruin mo ba naman pang 9th pa kami maghihintay. So we decided to look for another restaurant. Cindi suggested the roadhouse. She told us that the food there is good. So we all went there to check out their food and found out that Cindi was right. The food is oh-so yummy!

Here's a picture of the meal I ate:

Till our next food trip! ^_^

Yesterday was quite a day, it is both tiring and a boring day. I was the one who installed the HCM in the two virtual machines --- the web server and the application server. It was fun that I could apply what I learned in the training. I was a little bothered at work thinking about the upcoming judgement day. Will I be able to stay here in the company or will I just start up my own business just like what my dad likes? I enjoy working here because of my friends. I really love being with them and spending time with them makes me feel like I have a new siblings. Working at this big company is a big challenge for me. But having a boss like what I have now is making me want to give up. I know I shouldn't. But I fear that his favoritism takes place then I would be left out with no good projects at all. Oh, life! Its really difficult as it seems. I really want to grow with this kind of business and I wanted to learn but its really hard. So I guess, I'll just leave it to fate. What is destined is destined to be no matter how I do something about it.

I just wish someday, everything's going to be fine. And that I would still be a successful businesswoman as I dream to be...

Yesterday was a busy day at work. We've been busy with the installation and I have to hurry to go home. Well, I was excited because I will be able to bake again.

When I arrived our house I checked all the ingredients to be used and prepared for dinner. (sympre dinner muna noh! haha) After dinner, my brother and I started to bake. I actually showed him how to make my cookies so that he could do it if mommy wants to have those cookies..
(haha! ang daya eh noh... nagturo lang para may proxy na taga gawa..)

Here are the pictures of the cookies..

haha wla lng hindi pa gaano maaus pgkakamold k nian ng cookies excited lng ako mgpicture.. lol

Life as they say is difficult. It can give you different weird emotions. It can make you happy or sad --you do not know what it could bring you depending on the situation. As they say, it is a mystery to solve for a lifetime.

I am only 23 years old but I can say that life has been pretty tough. There are times that I would want to give up but thinking of my loved ones makes me want to go on. I don't want them to feel betrayed by leaving them all behind. Right now, my family is having a difficult time. We are still recovering from the damages that life has gave us. I know, its our destiny and that these trials that are given to us are just trials to make us stronger. But when will this end? My family and siblings are very well affected. Sometimes I'd wish that all of our problems would go away. Well, it did not. I guess I have to pray harder. Hard enough for my wish to be granted.

Early today, I received a not-so-good news from my boyfriend. They are having their family financial problems too. Why do this have to happen? We're all people working hard to make a living but there are these people who can't get hold of their own lives and destroy other people's lives. ewan ko ba! naiinis na ako sa government naten.wala na silang ibang gnwa kundi manghut hut ng pera sa mga tao. as if naman may nagagawa silang mgnda.

I don't know how all of this has to end. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to do something.. but I don't know how. All I can do is to be strong.. not only for him but for my family too. I know they'll be needing me more..

After a several weeks of waiting, finally today we're going to install PeopleSoft for our project with BPI. Its a clean installation from scratch. Right now, I am still copying the installers to the virtual drives before installing it. Can't wait till I do the actual installing of PeopleSoft.

Look at our desk!


---
I am so bored waiting for the installers to be copied. >.<

I woke up late today because of the bad weather. I wanted to sleep more but I have to go to work today. *argh* I attempted to sleep again 5 times but my little brother just keeps on waking me up till I got up and prepared for work.

I was at the area where I usually wait for my ride. 10 minutes.. 20 minutes.. 30 minutes.. had past still there are no vans going to global city, the fort. I hate this day! I am too lazy and the weather is not going on my way. The wind is so strong, the rain starts to pour and my slacks are getting wet. Finally, after 45minutes of waiting I finally got my ride to work. When I arrived at the office, my slacks have few drops of mud. I hate this.. I hate the bad weather for today..

Its the first day of August, and its the first Friday of the month! Hurray! That means we'll all have free breakfast at work. I woke up early today because I was so excited that today is Friday and that only means that I can see my baby tomorrow! Anyway, I arrived at the office at 7:07 am. (pretty early huh?) I just don't get it why I can go to work this early when I was still in ASTI. Maybe because here, if I go to work early, I can go home early.

Today's Menu for the breakfast:

• Hotcakes
• Cereals
• Sausages
• Juice or Coffee

I am starting the day right. I hope we could proceed in the PeopleSoft installation today. I want to be more productive.

I am starting to love this company little by little. The ambiance, the people and the work. I am starting to feel more comfortable here than in our company at ASTI. Other people talk to me.. some know my name and its too embarrassing that I don't even know theirs..

Oh, before I forget. I took some stolen shots at breakfast today.

Today, I got up late and hurriedly went to the office. I woke up at around 7am and got to the office by 8:10am (pretty fast eh? to think that I came all the way from Paco, Manila and the office is at Market Market, Taguig).

Anyway, I started my day at work by having breakfast with my co-trainees at ASTI. I ate my cereals then I went back to my desk. We were suppose to start the installation of PeopleSoft in the Application Server, Database and to the Virtual Machine (Windows NT) but then, they can't find where the license key is. They don't even know who keeps the CD installers from Oracle. I don't know what my expression would be. They kept on passing us to other people to get the information. Finally, we found the CD installers but still do not have the license keys!
Later on, I got an email from Francis, the PS Admin, he got the license keys from the Oracle.

Now, we are all set! We can now start installing... then, I started to access the putty and xmanager comparing what to use for easy installing. When the connection failed! Okay, they have not yet fixed it.. we still have to wait.. wait until forever

What I did today? Document and listed all the installers they have so that next time, we won't have to download it from the internet. Its more productive to have a list of reference of what you already have right?

After a long sleep from the gaming world, last night I tried to siege again. I missed my friends a lot! Seeing the in-game characters makes me feel like I am seeing them in person. The fun, the 'kulitans' during the siege is what I miss the most.

Playing with my character makes me feel like we're as one. It made me release the stress from work. I had fun last night. I wish I could spend more time in playing with them. I miss the old times when we hang out at our tambayan just to have fun with each other. I miss the prontera market. Oh, I love roaming around and bargain for the cheapest price I could get.

But.. everything's a little bit different now. We're all growing old. We all have our personal lives to manage but the memories that we all shared through the years will remain forever... and forever that game will be in our hearts.

I am so glad that the friends that I've met through this game are the ones that I could turn to in the real world.

I love you Armada-Goonz family..
I love you Spammers!
I love you Datsoy..

Yesterday was quite a tough day. I am not feeling good, I have colds and a little fever but still I have to go to work. I had a very irritating day with lots of task to do. People are too lazy to do things that they depend on me. Argh! I hate it when you will just type it on Google but still you have to ask me to do it.

I had a very sad day and I don't have anyone to turn to. Well, I talked to my boyfriend and he told me to do things that would make me happy. So I was thinking of something fun. I thought of writing here in at my blog. When I opened my browser, my default page loaded, Google, well I remembered the movie I watched lately, the title is Wanted, the guy googled himself and found nothing. Then I thought of doing the same. Am I a nobody like him? Things like that popped out of my mind. So there, I found quite a number of results and found myself. Huurrraay! I can be found over the web! Haha. I was so amazed and googled a lot of people I know including my boyfriend. Well, I found a site with a couple of information about him and I messaged him, Hey! You didn't tell me that you were the outstanding athlete when you were still in high school. Stuff like that. Well, he thought that I was talking to someone he knew. I didn't want to tell him about the site I found but I told him that I am not talking to someone he knew. He wouldn't believe me. Later on, he got mad because he told me that I was disturbing him. So there, I logged out and found myself alone again... sad. Hay buhay bakit ba ganito ang nangyayari.. Well, there are a lot of things that happened and my day didn't turned out to be alright.

After work, I found myself walking along the streets thinking of a lot of my problems. I just couldn't stand what's happening. Para nga akong tangang naglalakad kung saan saan. Anyway, when I got tired I finally went home. To my surprise, I hear people shouting when I get home so I just went straight to my room. No one cared if I was there, if I already ate, if I was feeling okay. I never felt so alone in my life. I wish my dad was here..

The weekend was quite different. I've been sick for the past 3 days. Since friday, I was not feeling well but no one believed me. My officemates think that I am just thinking about it. When I get home, my body gave in. I've been taking good care of myself since then. Saturday, I went to my boyfriends' place. We were both sick. We took care of each other and later on, we were just passing the virus.. he's sick then i'm feeling well, then i'll be sick then he'll be feeling well and so on. When I came home, I'm still sick. Haha! I had a sorethroat and until now, it hasn't been cured.

Today, I am feeling sad. I'm feeling alone and empty. Why do I have to feel this way? I feel like my boyfriend is there but not really there. He's been acting weird. I am feeling that I needed someone by my side. But, I don't know what to do or how to handle things lately..

Oh, I just want to sleep and forget everything

Oh, another day at the office. What an exciting day it is! (in a sarcastic tone) What's new today? Err, I'll just sit around and try to research on the things needed for our Blackberry project with Globe. I feel so bored because I am done with the research that is assigned to me. I wanted to go home and have a good sleep or watch a good movie.

I've been thinking about what I really want to happen in my life. Do I want to stay here in the office where my boss sees only his favorites or do I go somewhere else? If I go somewhere else, where would I be? Will I accept the offer of my Dad to open up a new business? Well, I think it would be good but I'm too afraid that I might fail. I don't want to disappoint my parents. I just don't know what to do...