The Different Faces of Me

Let me guess, you did a double take when you read the title of this article, right? I'm not condoning cheating in a relationship, nor denying that it's wrong to cheat. I'm merely suggesting that in some cases, cheating may be beneficial to a relationship.

So why am I writing about such a controversial issue? Because most men and women cheat on their partners at some point in a relationship, and they need to be informed that cheating has at least an ounce of redeeming value. Cheating is not always bad; surprisingly, it can help to improve current relationships.

I'm not implying that every man should go out and be unfaithful, nor am I implying that all men cheat on every woman they date. All it means is that at some point, the little head overpowers the big head and men venture into forbidden territory.

So why do we cheat?

Cheating generally means that you are not fully satisfied with your current partner or you feel that something is missing in the relationship. If you were completely in love and happy within your relationship, then why would you jeopardize all that you have for a five-minute fling with the girl next door?

When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex.

Discover the benefits of cheating...

Men are explorers
A lot of men who are in serious relationships usually end up cheating after a couple of years. The reason is simple; men stuck in long-term relationships feel they are missing out on something. Most of the time, these men cheat because they are frustrated and need to get it out of their systems.

Men also like to explore and try new things. The benefit in this case is that once men do cheat, they realize that it is nothing special and probably won't do it again. This prevents them from being unfaithful later on when the stakes are higher (like when they have a family).

Home sweet home
When people are in a relationship for a long time, they can't help but start taking their significant other forgranted. Sometimes they forget just how great the woman they have really is. Men forget how wonderful it feels to have someone who loves them unconditionally. Cheating usually involves lustful feelings of physical attraction; nothing long-term.

The result is that once men are unfaithful, they will lie in bed and think relentlessly about their unsuspecting partner. Why? Because the lust factor has worn away and the reality didn't measure up to the fantasy. Instead, they remember the good reality; the woman who loves them, bakes them cookies and makes love to them. The old saying "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" says it all.

Nothing lasts forever
The most underrated benefit of cheating is that it opens a man's eyes to the realization that his relationship is no longer nurturing and should be terminated. Some people remain blind to the fact that their relationship is "on the rocks" and the only way they can finally realize that it's not going to work anymore is through cheating. It's a shame that some men have to go to this extreme to see the reality: that they're no longer satisfied with their situation.

Let's face it, nothing lasts forever and about 95% of relationships, married or not, end (i.e. if you date 9 women before you ever marry, your failure rate is 90%, assuming the marriage lasts). When you do break up, you will probably have a lot of regrets, especially concerning all the girls you missed out on -- especially if she's a six-foot tall Swedish model.

So what did you learn from my point of view? That cheating is disrespectful towards the person you've cheated on, but at the very least, it has two beneficial aspects to it. First, that you'll realize your mistake and appreciate your lover a lot more after the horrible deed.

The second is that cheating can help you realize your misery within your current relationship, and will likely give you that necessary shove to move on and stop wasting both your lover's and your own time.

Get it on!

Written by: Curt Smith, a relationship correspondent of Askmen.com